"Hell is paved with good intentions." - Cicero

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Babar: the Fondest Memory I Know

"In the great forest a little elephant is born. His name is Babar."
- Jean De Brunhoff

Babar's story is arguably the greatest story ever told. Even better than of the books in the Holy Bible. In fact, there wouldn't be as much hate in the world if the King James Bible were replaced with the Babar books. Actually, I think there's a part of the world where that wouldn't be so controversial. Babar's story is a fairly simple one: his mother is killed by a hunter and Babar is left to fend for himself. Eventually, he gets to Paris, where he is raised by the Old Lady. Since he has grown, he makes his way back to the elephant realm and becomes king.

I think it's only fair to reflect on the state of affairs in Paris. Due to labor and tax issues, the people of France have been rioting almost every day. According to CNN, scattered bonfires, Molotov cocktails, and reverse police brutality are a nightly scene. If Babar was there, he could surely stop it.

Would Babar really approve of the actions of the people of France? They showed such love and kindness to him when he was growing up, and now look at them. What if another lonely elephant tottered into France, looking for a home? Would he be turned away?

Earlier I said that everyone would be better off if the King James Bible were replaced with the books of Babar. This may have offended some of you. In that case, you can stop reading now, because it's only going to get more offensive. Babar bears a striking resemblance to someone else of religious importance. This is probably not a coincidence. There is something mystical about the elephant. Perhaps the elephant realm is a theocracy and Babar was appointed the throne for religious reasons. Either way, Babar could quite possibly be the messiah. I don't have to back this up with evidence. Did Jesus have any real evidence that he was the messiah? Of course not.

When my parents used to read me a Babar book before tucking me into bed all those years ago, I used to think how wonderful it is that someone so morbidly obese could be so philosophically fulfilled. I think that Babar is easily the most important literary character ever for two reasons: he's a continuing source of inspiration and spiritual guidance and he's also wearing spats. God bless you, Babar. Whoops, guess that was a stupid thing to say. I mean, why would someone bless themself?


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